Sometimes I find my peace of mind is crowded out by fear and uncertainty. One way to release myself is to apply the Serenity Prayer to my circumstances, but in a precise way that cuts through my many shortcomings. First, I broaden ‘acceptance’ to include *everything* exactly as it is, not just the things I cannot change. That means I look at my entire life through the lens of gratitude, and trust that everything is unfolding exactly as it should–my Savior’s timing is always perfect. Then I ask Him to help me accept all things just as they are, and to see the opportunities in my circumstances.
Sometimes asking my Savior for ‘courage to change the things I can’ is overwhelming–I can get trapped under the mountain of things I *could* change and I become paralyzed with inaction. It helps for me to ask precisely for guidance on what my Savior wants me to change in any given moment, and think of ‘things I can change’ as the things my Savior wants me to change right now.
Last, I can trigger my perfectionism when asking for ‘wisdom to know the difference.’ I always want to know exactly what I’m supposed to do–I don’t want to make any mistakes. To regain my spiritual center, I remind myself that everything (including me, even when I’m walking through fear and uncertainty) is already in my Savior’s hands, and that decision-making is a self-correcting process. Wisdom is something I feel in my heart. If I change something and still don’t feel right, I can go through the process again until my Savior’s will becomes clear to me.
Then I breathe, and remember I am exactly who I am, exactly where I am, and remind myself that I am cared for–and loved.
I am Mitch Mayne. I am an openly gay, active Latter-day Saint.
I was raised in Idaho, and baptized into the Mormon Church when I was eight. I left the church for many years, due in large part to my parent’s divorce. In my mid-20s, I returned to the church of my own accord, knowing full well that I was gay, and that someday I would have to find a way to reconcile my sexual orientation with my faith.
For many years, I was fractured: I believed I was a man with a foot in two worlds, and that I belonged in neither. But as I’ve grown in my testimony of my Savior and my confidence in who I am, I’ve come to understand myself as a man with a foot in two worlds–who very much belongs in both. From August 2011 through November of 2013, I served as the executive secretary of the bishopric of the Bay Ward within the San Francisco Stake.
I currently remain an active, happy and whole gay Mormon–just the way I am.