”And it came to pass that when they had knelt upon the ground, Jesus groaned within himself, and said: Father, I am troubled because of the wickedness of the people of the house of Israel.
And when he had said these words, he himself also knelt upon the earth; and behold he prayed unto the Father, and the things which he prayed cannot be written, and the multitude did bear record who heard him.” (3 Nephi 17:14-15)
My feelings, also the negative ones are a part of me and should be treated with respect, not guiltily. I shouldn´t be ashamed of them. I shouldn´t feel that my feelings are wrong. Cause how can they be?
When Our Savior felt theese negative feelings just a few verses later they are turned into joy:
”And it came to pass that Jesus spake unto them, and bade them arise.”
”And they arose from the earth, and he said unto them: Blessed are ye because of your faith. And now behold, my joy is full.” (3 Nephi 17:19-20)
If we are trying to hide our real emotions by trying to act that we are feeling something else the result is simply a lie and it is impossible to express love influated by a lie.
Yes; some emotions can be hurtful and if someone are eg angry at me they are not going to want to discuss it. But silence is not golden in my mind. Yes you can feel vulnerable when you are wearing your heart on your sleeve. That is a part of your feeling that I do accept.
But the thing is: How do we express our (also negative) feelings? Apostle Paul is talking about speaking the truth in love.
”but speaking the truth in love, may grow up into Him in all things, who is the Head, even Christ, ”(Eph 4:15)
For me that is about being honest also with negative feelings but in a sensitive and loving way that will not make others feel put down.
Do not force a smile to me if I did something wrong in your opinion. Give yourself permission to feel everything you feel and embrace the fact that you and your feelings are you, perfect or not.
Hit me with your negative feelings in Love. Do not take your feelings as an excuse to blame or insult. I won´t criticize your feelings or try to change them. Only the person who has the feelings can change them. I will listen to you. And I will be glad if you are honest. So will I be.
Johan Finne är skribent, trädgårdsmästare och konstnär. Han fick 2013 ett hedersomnämnande för sitt mångåriga arbete inom den svenskfinska HBTIQ-rörelsen av föreningen Regnbågsankan. Han är medarbetare och skribent på bland annat QX.se och arbetar dessutom som trädgårdsmästare och konstnär.